


It's alright, Billy.

by StrawberrieKisses



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, HarringroveSmut, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Not Beta Read, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberrieKisses/pseuds/StrawberrieKisses
Summary: “Dude, you told me to wait for you behind the gym.” Steve leaned against the car, one hand still over the car lock and the other in his front jean pocket, the jeans that fit him so nicely. Billy’s favorite pair of Steve’s jeans.“Nevermind, sorry for wasting your time.” Billy adverted his eyes and cleared his throat. “Now move it Harrington.” Billy shoved Steve out of the way, but Steve was persistant and slid over to the passengers side.“Wait a minute,” he held his hand up and his face scrunched in confusion, “did you just say ‘sorry’?” He crossed his arms over his chest, a look of perplexity covering his pretty features.“Fuck off, Harrington.”(Steve's a HS junior here, just like Billy. Also they don't have full blown sex bc Billy is a mess.)





	It's alright, Billy.

Billy knew he liked guys just as much, if not more, as he liked girls. He hated himself for that. It disgusted him; it pained him every moment he had to remain in this skin. It was beyond loathing. He wished, fruitlessly, that he could beat the faggot out of himself. He just _knew_ his father hated him because he could see the _faggot_ inside of his one and only son. When he was beat or yelled at, he thought it was all too much but also not enough. He just wanted it all to stop; he wanted the earth to cease to exist so that he wouldn't have to think about anything or anyone. He wouldn't have to stop himself from acting on this heart. He could stop himself from second guessing every moment of his day, from longing for acceptance. He could stop biting his lips in agony as his father beat him relentlessly. He wouldn't have to stop himself from gawking at men. He wouldn’t have to put up an impenetrable wall tall in his heart. _ He wouldn't have to hurt people just because he liked them._ He just wanted anyone to make him feel warmth and care, but he rather die than receive what he desired most from a _man_, though he would also die if that anyone was not. 

Then he met Steve. Pretty boy Steve who was _ perfect_ in every way imaginable. He was too perfect, and Billy couldn’t have that. No one had ever made him feel the ways he was feeling like Steve did. Billy didn’t know how to deal with it. No girl ever made his groin burn and his heart throb in the euphorically _live_ way Steve did, and he never even really _spoke_ to Steve. He couldn’t understand the burning passion his heart so unwillingly tended to for Steve. Whether the flame was caused because of attraction or anger, Billy would like to think it was something he couldn’t yet decipher. He dealt with the confusion in the only way he knew how. Billy decided to beat Steve just as his father beat him, but Steve would never give up; he still had the balls to show is face around the school, around the arcade when Billy picked up Max, even around his house when he picked up the shit head kids like the perfect nurturer he is. Steve still _tolerated_ Billy. Sure, Harrington would punch back and spit out insults just as fast as Hargrove did it himself, but, of course, Steve never initiated it. He would, however, stick it out until the end (usually sporting a swollen face and a bloody nose). And Billy _hated_ himself for admiring Steve’s determination. He also hated what he did to that _beautiful_ face.

So, why was Billy waiting for Steve behind the school gym? Why had he told Steve he had something to say? The moment the words left his mouth he was mentally kicking himself in the face for saying them. He still made his way to the gym after class, though, _just_ to see if he could see Steve walking towards the gym. He was going to leave afterwards when he would see no one waiting for him; no one wanting to hear him out and to say that they accepted him. But Steve was already there, kicking a rock around and carrying his backpack on one shoulder, intermitedly searching the students coming out of the high school in hoards to leave the campus and down at his own sneakers. Steve looked up in his direction, to Billy’s dismay, and his eyes perked open, expecting Billy to make his way over, but Billy kept walking.

‘He doesn’t want to hear me out. He’s just a nice guy who wants his king status back or closure or some other _stupid_ shit.’ Billy repeated to himself over and over again, even as he heard Steve calling after him. He kept his head down and booked it to his car. He made it to his car quickly enough, and he didn’t hear anyone following him. He sighed out in relief and stuck his key in the drivers side to unlock it, when a hand darted in and blocked his movement. He looked up to find Steve’s face too close to his for comfort. He was lightly panting and his hair was slightly in his eyes.

“Dude, you told me to wait for you behind the gym.” Steve leaned against the car, one hand still over the car lock and the other in his front jean pocket, the jeans that fit him so nicely. Billy’s favorite pair of Steve’s jeans. His lips were parted too, like he had jogged over to Billy. It faintly registered in Billy's mind that no one had ever run to him, rather they ran from him. It was different. “Never mind, sorry for wasting your time.” Billy adverted his eyes and cleared his throat. “Now move it Harrington.” Billy shoved Steve out of the way, but Steve was persistent and slid over to the passengers side. “Wait a minute,” he held his hand up and his face scrunched in confusion, “did you just say ‘sorry’?” He crossed his arms over his chest, a look of perplexity covering his pretty features. 

“Fuck off, Harrington.” Billy started the ignition and, before Steve was able to respond, sped out of the high school parking lot, where a few students were silently watching on as the new and old king’s of the school spoke in hushed tones. 

“Hey Steve! What was that about?” A guy he recognized as a year above himself was jogging over, ready to hear the gossip.

Steve stared after the car as it sped off into the road, wondering caused Billy to be so jittery. He pursed his lips and stood there for a moment, contemplating his options. He turned to the guy, recognizing him as Tommy in a passing thought before walking away, shouting “Fuck off.” Over his shoulder as he got in his own car and drove to Billy’s house.

As he got closer to Billy’s house, he pondered what he was doing. Billy was _ terrible_. He hated Steve for no reason other than needing someone to hate. Steve knew Billy’s dad was abusive and all around a pain, so he tried his best not to hold anything against Billy, but sometimes he took things way too far. _ He almost beat Lucas up for crying out loud!_ He was about to turn back when the kids were coming up on the road behind him. They caught sight of his Beemer and threw their bikes down in favor of crowding Steve’s window. Steve groaned slightly, throwing his head back onto the driver’s seat a little dramatically. 

“What you doing here Steve?” Dustin gave him a high five, which Steve reciprocated. He had a soft spot for the kid.. for all the kids, actually.

“Nothing… just driving around.” Steve looked around and moved is hand to his gear shift, ready to back out. 

“To the Hargove’s place?” Lucas spoke up, looking skeptical. Just then, Max dashed out of her front door and hurried over to the boys, picking up her bike on the way. All of the boys attention, save for Mike, turned to her. She smiled, excited to see her new, _only_, friends. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Steve’s car, though. 

Max looked like puzzle pieces where finally connecting in her head as she locked eyes with Steve. She pretended not to notice anything odd in his presence, and walked to the boys as if nothing had happened. She greeted them cheerfully, albeit she did call them obnoxious stalkers. She told them to go ahead because she needed to talk to Steve. The boys questioned her because there was no reason they couldn't be there to listen in on the conversation. "Stop being nosy boogers!"She snapped back at them that she needed to talk about 'girl stuff' and the boys visibly stepped back. They smiled awkwardly and jumped on their bikes beginning to ride away, and saying they would wait for her at the end of the road. 

Steve looked at her with concern in his eyes. "Are you okay? Should I drive you over to Nancy? I mean- I can try and help you out but I have no idea what-" 

"Steve." Max rolled her eyes.

Steve opened and closed his mouth, looking for the correct words to say but being unable to find them. He sighed in defeat. "I don't know anything about periods, kid. Your best bet is at the Nanc-" 

“Shut up Steve.” Max crossed her arms over her chest, looking uncomfortable and somewhat concerned, which was strange. Max never seemed to care about much unless it was a life or death situation.

"because, in case you haven't noticed- I'm not a gi- Wait, what?"

"That was a lie! Oh my god you are just as clueless as the guys." She rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her red hair. She looked into Steve's eyes, looking for something to just tell him to buzz off, but she knew she couldn't send him on his way. Steve was too persistent, he wasn't going to leave without an answer. He was also caring, and she knew Billy needed that right now. She wrapped her hoodie tighter around herself. 

"Whatever he tells you... keep an open mind." 

"...What?"

She grimaced and looked over to her front door.

"Just... don't be a dick. And _ please_ for both our sakes keep your voices down- don't yell at each other or anything else… if you can't deal then wait for me to get back home... just don't leave him alone...and don't hurt him."

"What?" 

“Is that the only word you know?!"

"Calm down you little weirdo!" He motioned with his hands for her to bring her mood back down. "You sure you don't want me to take you to Nancy?" He looked her up and down in annoyance. "I have no idea what you're talking about with your cryptic-ness!" 

Max made a disgruntled noise as she thought through her options before opening Steve's car door and motioning him to get out. Steve followed, and shut his car door behind himself. Max was just being so weird and he needed to get to the bottom of it. 

"You're here for an English assignment. You're a great student, and you have a girlfriend." She got behind Steve and placed her hand on his back, pushing him towards her front door as he looked back at her in confusion.

_"What?!"_ They made it to the front door. Max whispered a plea to Steve that he couldn't understand, rang her doorbell, and dashed away.

Steve stood there, looking at the girl as her flaming hair got farther and farther into the distance. He heard the doorknob jingle before he was greeted by a friendly looking woman about the same age as his mother.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She smiled, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Hello.. uh you must be Mrs. Hargrove." he cleared his throat loudly, "I'm Steve." He smiled and held his hand out, which the woman took. He gave her a firm handshake. Afterwards, he quickly put his hand in his front pockets and shifted on his toes in nervousness. "I'm here for an English project Billy and I are partnered up on?" 

"Oh! Come on in!" She stepped aside, and Steve made his way into his most aggressive acquaintive's home. The woman shut the door behind them before patting his shoulder in a friendly manner. "I'll go call him down!" She smiled and hurriedly climbed up the carpeted staircase. Steve heard her knock on a door before it was swung open, where Steve heard someone, who he presumed to be Billy, blasting Aerosmith. 

"Billy, your classmate Steve is here for your English project."

The living room looked similar to his own; warm lighting, a couch with a recliner in the corner, slightly outdated curtains, light brown carpet with a mysterious stain attempted to be covered by a rug. It looked like a home. 

Steve heard Billy tell his mother to send him away. He stood there awkwardly, looking around and taking in the house. There were lots of pictures up, some of Max, some of their parents, some of Max with their parents, some of older people he assumed to be Billy and Max's grandparents, but there were no pictures of Billy, save for a small frame on the counter of the entranceway that looked as if it had been clipped out of a school yearbook. 

He heard Billy's mother return, she stood at the foot of the stairs with her hands on her hips. "Oh, I'm sorry Steve, I'm sure you know how he get sometimes." She made her way to the kitchen and opened up her fridge. 

"Do you want something to eat? A snack? Some pop?" 

"Oh no, thank you Mrs. Hargrove, I'll just head out then..." Steve turned clasped his hands together and pointed to the door as he made his leave to leave before she could convince him of staying. He couldn't get Billy's worried apology out of his head. He was intrigued by what Max had said, and his English grade was on the line- supposedly. "Actually, do you think I can head up there myself?" his hands were spread out in front of himself, as if needed to prove he wasn't hiding anything.

Mrs. Hargrove closed her fridge and resumed cutting some vegetables on the countertop. She sighed, and her eyes went up to Steve with a look of concern across her brow. She waved her knife in the air before nodding a 'by all means'. Steve nodded curtly before hurriedly making his way up the stairs. 

"I would ask your teacher to switch partners!" She called up to Steve. 

Steve had no trouble recognizing which bedroom door was Billy's. It was at the end of the hall, it had nothing on it except for holes where, Steve assumes, someone tried to punch or kick the door in. He knocked hesitantly, certain that Billy wouldn't be able to hear him over the music vibrating throughout his room. If he just knocked a little bit he could have his conscious clear. He could be able to say that he tried. He could walk out and go home and just _forget_ about Billy. 

Billy, however, did hear his knock, and he opened the door swiftly, ready to tell his stepmother to leave him alone again, but his expression softened when he saw Steve standing there.

"Go away, Steve." Billy said lowly, in a raspy voice. His dirty blond hair was covering his eyes and his face looked redder than usual. He retreated back into his room and slammed the door closed. Steve stood there, unsure of what to do once again. Billy turned his music up louder, and Steve thought to knock again, because what the actual fuck? His first hovered over the wood, before just throwing the door open. He found Billy laid on his bed, facing the wall, and curled into himself. 

"Ever heard of something called privacy, Harrington?" 

Steve shut the door and walked over to the head of Billy's bed, taking in the room as he did. It looked _ almost_ like Steve imagined it would, save for the smell of cigarettes- which he had imagined would have been stronger. He didn't want to turn down the music- he was already overstepping the boundaries by just waltzing into Billy's room.

"Yea, yea, whatever. Why'd Max tell me to come talk to you, huh?"

"I already told you to go away." Billy remained still, talking to the wall. His voice cracked slightly.

"Hey, are you crying?" Steve spoke softer, and stretched over to place a hand on Billy's shoulder.

Billy swatted him away, getting up abruptly and looking ready to attack. Steve shut his eyes tight and put his arms over his face and chest defensively as he waited for the inevitable punching, but it never came. Steve slowly opened his eyes and was faced with a sight he never thought he would see. Billy's eyes were swollen and red. His chest was heaving up and down as if he had just run five miles. He opened and closed his hands, shaking them occasionally as if he was loosing feeling. 

"Are you okay?" Steve placed a hand on his shoulder again, but he was swatted away just as before. Billy shook his head back and forth as he grit his teeth and tears streamed down his face. Billy was breathing rough and looking around like a cornered animal. 'Shit! Shit! Shit!' Steve was slightly panicked. He had only ever seen one person act like this before. He groaned, but he did the only thing he thought would work. He lifted his knee and got on the bed, going behind Billy and moving his legs to either side of Billy's. He grabbed Billy by the waist and brought Billy closer to himself. 

Billy thrashed about, his breathing becoming even more erratic, but Steve just tightened his hold and moved his head closer to Billy's shoulder, trying his best to remain calm, as he began singing 'Eye of the Tiger' because it was the only song he could think of. He would be lying if he said his voice didn't quiver and his heart wasn't jumping out of his chest, not that he would admit that aloud, yet. He sang close to Billy's ear and pressed his chest flush against Billy's back. Billy got even more aggressive, but Steve clung on and rested his head against Billy's shoulder to sing closer into his ear.

Billy calmed by the end of the following song, and Steve stopped singing, looking over Billy's face in concern. He lightened his grip but didn't let go. He was still sucking in shaky breaths and trembling slightly. Steve braced himself, fully expecting for Billy to throw him off and beat the shit out of him, but he just placed his hands over Steve's own and let out a rugged breath, his chest was still tight from the crying and heaving he had been doing just a moment ago. 

Steve couldn't let go, not when Billy was leaning back into him like he so desperately wanted a human touch.

"Hey..." he whispered, clearing his throat so that he wouldn't sound so concerned. "Better now?" 

"How'd you learn to do that?" Billy's voice cracked.

"My cousin has these kinds of... episodes sometimes, too. It helps her if someone holds her and sings." He removed his hands and made his moves to get away from Billy. He brought in his knee and moved behind Billy, fully intending on leaving, but Billy held him by the thigh. Steve lifted an eyebrow in surprise, eyeing the distance between his chest and Billy's back. "You need something?" Steve looked back and forth between Billy's hand gripping his thigh and Billy's sad blue eyes.

"Stay."

"What?" 

"Stay here, with me." Steve leaned back down, confused, and kept a comfortable distance between their bodies. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He rubbed Billy's scalp, the guy looked like he was exhausted.

"About what?" 

"Whatever's been eating you up like this. Whatever Max said I wouldn't be able to deal with."

This time he did move away from behind Billy and instead sat beside him. Billy, to Steve's shock, placed his head across his lap and stayed there, unmoving and silent. Steve's hands, currently in the air from shock, found their way to Billy's curly hair, again, and he ran his fingers through it like Nancy had done to him so many times before. 

"I need you to talk to me Billy. I'm getting worried here." 

Billy buried his head deeper into Steve's denim-clad pant’s. 

"Please don't leave..." he pleaded, his voice was still raspy and sounded out of breath. 

"I'm not going to leave." Steve looked at him questioningly before patting him on the back and telling him to sit up. Billy sat up slowly, his eyes refused to look at Steve. "Dude, you gotta tell me what's up." Steve ran a hand through his own hair before sighing loudly at Billy's silence.

"You're gay." He stated bluntly, and Billy's head whipped up in shock, but he looked down again in shame just as quickly.

"Max told you?" 

"No... but I figured there was a reason she told me to be open-minded and to not be a dick."

"The little twerp told you that?" He let out a tired laugh before turning sullen again. "You don't care?" 

"No." Steve smiled fondly. "No, I don't care. You're still Billy Hargrove, your terrible personality and horrible sense of hairstyle doesn't change just because I know you’re sexuality."

Billy rolled his eyes in a moment of relaxation into the slight bicker before his expression turned sullen again. ”Is that... _ all_ she told you?"

Steve jutted out his lower lip before nodding quickly before letting out a soft, "yea..." 

"Okay." Billy moved further away from Steve, eventually getting off the bed and turning off his blaring music.

"... but I'm not stupid, Billy. There's a reason you wanted me to meet you behind the gym today."

They stared at each other knowingly, somewhat longingly before Billy broke the silence.

"You can't tell anyone. I swear if you tell anyone!" Billy moved aggressively, very obviously holding himself back.

Steve remained cool, sat on Billy's bed and twirling with the blanket beneath him."I'm not going to."

"Oh, yeah? How do I know that?"

Steve put up three fingers and listed. “ One, ’cause I’m not an asshole… two, you’re not too hard on the eyes- save for your hair” he dropped his hand and looked at Billy expectingly, “and three, _ you don’t have many other options except believing me._" he gave a stern look, the same look he gave Dustin when they last spoke together, Dustin had voiced wanting to be handsome, to which Steve gave him a stern lecture on how he already is.

This time Billy's swollen eyes widened in surprise instead of anger, and he gazed over all of Steve's features.

"You're into guys? What about Wheeler?"

"Girls too, and Nancy and I broke up ages ago, bud."

Billy got up and paced around his room, getting visibly angry and running a hand over his face roughly.

"Billy, it's okay." Steve moved to get up and comfort Billy, but Billy held his hand in front of himself to tell Steve to stay away. 

"No, it's not!" His eyes here laced with anger, just as his words. 

"Why not?" Steve crossed his arms over his chest once again, and looked at Billy slightly annoyed. 

"Because I don't _want_ to like you, Harrington. 

"Why not?" Steve looked offended, of all things, and placed his hand over his chest in dramatic surprise.

"Because that makes me a faggot!” Billy pushed against Steve, he stumbled back a bit but didn’t let the rough action anger or deter him from continuing the conversation.

"Okay, first of all don't call yourself that. And, yea, duh." Steve walked closer to Billy, until he was right in front of him and he could no longer move around without pushing Steve away. "What's wrong with being gay?"

"Everything!" He spat out, pushing Steve away by planting a hand on his sternum.

"Keep it down, Max told me to keep our voices down." He stepped back and tried to rub Billy's cheek again, but he was swatted away.

_"I can't be gay!" _

Steve took his hand back. It hovered in the air for a moment before he grabbed Billy's face and forcibly smashed their lips together. Steve took a sharp breath in from his nose and struggled to keep their bodies as close together as possible.

(a/n: that escalated quickly lol)

He felt Billy sink into the kiss for a moment before he pushed Steve off and punched him in the face. Steve's torso snapped back; a bright red mark blossoming on his left cheek. He shook his head and moved to kiss Billy forcefully again. Once again, Billy punched him away, but this time in the stomach. Steve fell backward with the force of the hit. The air had knocked out of his lungs.

He landed on the carpet of the room with a thud, groaning and clutching his mid-section in pain.

Billy straddled Steve, his knees on either side of his chest, and lifted his arms to punch him just as he had done at the Byers’ place, but he couldn’t bring himself to it. Steve was regaining his breath every passing moment, and soon enough he was just laying there under Billy’s body staring up to him with a contemplative gaze.

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked, panting lightly, and prepared for whatever Billy dispositioned. 

But Billy didn’t answer, he instead leaned down and kissed Steve, his breathing rigid just as his fists were on either side of Steve’s torso. Steve moved to reciprocate the kiss only have his jaw held in place by one of Billy’s hands. It wasn't ideal, but Steve was willing to give it a chance. Maybe Billy needed to have control for a moment. Soon after, however, Billy bit his lip, and it was almost hard enough to draw blood. Steve let it brush over for a minute, maybe the dude had a biting kink, but then Billy was keeping him down with a hand on his chest and roughly trying to slide Steve's jeans off. Steve gasped into Billy's mouth and pushed him off of himself so that he could sit up. So he wasn't vulnerable. So that he knew he was _safe_. Billy was still sitting on his lap when Steve was able to make some words of the whole situation. 

“This whole ‘hurting me because you’re angry or sad or confused’ thing has got to stop Billy- we’re not doing anything if it means you can’t control yourself.” 

Billy looked frustrated and even somewhat annoyed, but Steve couldn’t tell who it was directed towards. Billy locked his expression into place, although, sometimes, the stone-like persona crumbled into fear and desire. Steve paused for a moment to look into Billy’s ocean eyes and put up a wall for himself, demanding an answer before even thinking about continuing. 

“I don’t _want_ to hate you, Harrington.” Billy’s voice was hoarse. He kept his eyes down as he held Steve by his hips, rubbing circles into the slightly protruding bones with his thumbs. He sounded so tired and empty that Steve couldn’t help but feel like he needed to fix the dude.

“You don’t hate _ me_, Hargrove.” Steve held Billy’s hands before moving them up to his own body. He guided Billy’s hands across his torso and up to his face, where he put the pair against his lips and kissed them softly. "You don't hate me." he repeated, this time a little more to himself. 

“I can’t just be gay…” Billy’s voice trembled with sudden emotion. Steve sighed, he couldn't be mean, this was the most Billy and him had spoken, _ever_.

“Why’s that? Afraid what the people of Hawkins will think? Trust me Bill’s, their opinions don’t matter.” Steve let out a laugh, trying to get Billy to look him in the eyes.

Billy would be lying if he said his heart didn’t swell a bit when Steve called him ‘Bill’s’.

“My dad would kill me.” Billy finally looked up and cried again, burying his face in the crook of Steve’s neck. “He already hates me so much… I just want to make him proud…” Billy sobbed and Steve felt the physical heartbreak radiating off of him. 

Steve rubbed Billy’s scalp and smoothed other his slightly damp hair, drawing Billy’s face as close to his neck as he could, as if he could envelope the younger boy in his own protective bubble. “He doesn’t hate you, Billy…” Steve cleared his throat, overwhelmed by how vulnerable Billy was behaving. 

Billy shifted back and lifted his shirt for Steve to see all of the bruises left on his torso. There were some fading marks, but also some marks that seemed to have just been forming. There was not an inch of skin that wasn’t littered in bruises. Steve’s eyes widened in shock and he bit his lip in contemplation. “Billy, I’m so sorry…” he placed his hand on one of the bruises near his ribcage and rubbed it lightly before tugging Billy’s shirt back down to keep him from getting too embarrassed. He still kept a palm over the general area of the main bruising.

“It’s pathetic, right?” Billy laughed a little before whimpering away from Steve’s touch. 

Steve pulled his hand away and left it to support his body as Billy, still sitting on his lap, was getting heavy. “Does it hurt?” 

Billy laughed again. 

“Sorry, that was a stupid question.” Steve brushed Billy’s hair behind his ear and whipped his remaining tears away. “It’s not pathetic. You can't please _ that_ Billy. There's not something wrong with you, there's something wrong with _him_.” He pointed to the nasty bruise. 

Billy stayed still, unused to receiving such warm and positive attention. He knew his father was unappeasable, but that never stopped him from trying. He sucked in a shaky breath and sighed out just as trembly. “This is kinda nice…”

“What is?” Steve smiled at him, a bright and wide smile painted his face. 

“Talking about it- about… my feelings, I guess.” He rubbed circles into Steves hipbones again and just hugged him, without malice, without desire, it was just a sincere hug. 

“How many people have you told?” Steve patted Billy’s back to get him to look back at his eyes.

“You’re the only one.” Billy grunted out and looked around his room nervously when saw the shocked look cross Steves face. 

“Max seemed to know and your step-mom was being a little…” Steve scrunched his face, waving his hand around to look for the right words. He never found them.

“Max might be a pain in the ass, but she’s really observant- she told me she was just waiting until _I _ told her about it, after we moved here and I said some questionable… things… about you. My stepmom… I don’t think she know’s I’m gay, but she knows somethings up. My dad doesn’t know… but I don’t need to give him any leverage to wail on me harder.” 

“Oh…” Steve didn’t know what to continue with in conversation. They sat there in silence for a moment before Billy made the first move.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Steve.”

“That would be nice, yea- boyfriends shouldn’t hurt each other.” Steve laughed lightly running his hands up Billy’s sides. He felt Billy stiffen slightly before trying to relax. He knew he was going a bit over boundaries now that Billy was not a complete emotional mess, but he was glad that he wasn’t pushed away. 

“Boyfriends?” Billy asked, sounding hopeful and somewhat like a child.

“Yea! You like me. I like you… why not? Let’s give it a shot.” Steve smiled sheepishly, waiting for Billy’s response, but his face was forlorn. 

“We can’t just be normal couple, Steve. Forget about how people will look at us, people… _ my dad_ will hurt us, Steve.” 

“No one has to know.” Steve continued, tugging on Billy’s face for another kiss. 

“You wouldn’t mind keeping it a secret?” Billy paused before letting himself be kissed by Steve, his stomach doing flips at the softness of the kiss. 

Steve pulled away after a few moments, smiling and pecking him on the lips quickly before continuing the conversation. “I mean… it’ll be tough, but we can give it a shot.” 

And Billy smiled a genuine smile, this time being the one to initiate a kiss between them. They sat there, on Billy’s bedroom floor, on Steve’s lap until it grew dark out. Eventually, Billy and Steve laid back on the floor, Steve beneath Billy, caressing him in a comforting manner like one would do to a scared child. Billy curled into Steve’s side, soaking the attention into his very core and playing with Steves boney fingers. Eventually, there was a knock on the room door and they shot away from one another, clumsily trying to look like they hadn’t just been cuddling for over an hour. 

“Billy?” They heard Max’s voice and visibly relaxed. “…Steve?” She added, quieter. “Can I come in?” 

Steve looked over to Billy expecting him to tell Max to go away, but, to his surprise, Billy didn’t send her away. 

“Come in.” Billy called, walking up to the door and swinging it open. Max came in quickly, turning to the door as she shut it and slowly turning around, half expecting to find her brother to have either beat the shit out of Steve or done other things with Steve which she rather not imagine.

“Hey…” Steve waved, standing next to Billy and leaving against his bed. 

“Hey?” Max’s hands were in her pockets as she fidgeted in nervousness. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing.” Billy laughed and reached down to embrace Steve from behind. “We’re good.” 

Max’s eyes widened before she regained her composure. Steve himself was stiff in shock and confusion- yea, Billy and him were boyfriends and yea they had been cuddling but Billy was just going for full on PDA in front of his younger sister. She cleared her throat and pointed a finger to their intertwined bodies.

“So… are you guys…?”

“Boyfriends? Yes.” Steve wrapped his arms over Billy’s, which were crossed over Steves’ middle.

“Like… just like that? Nothing else you guys need to say?” 

“Well yea, don’t tell anyone you little shit.” Steve rolled his eyes and peered over to her. Billy snickered behind him. 

“She won’t say anything!” Billy said with confidence before looking over to Max with worry. “Right, Max?” 

“Yea… no, totally!” Max laughed, nervously looking at Steve. “But you might want to get your car out of the driveway because I’m sure Niel is gonna get here any minute now… Sorry about ruining whatever you guys were doing before…” She smiled sheepishly before dashing out the door. 

“I should get going…” Steve twisted in Billy’s arms so that he was facing him.

“Yea…” Billy released his hold on Steve’s waist. “Careful on your drive back.” 

“Of course….” Steve separated from Billy, walking towards the door while facing him with a goofy grin on his face. “Meet me at school, tomorrow?” He asked hopefully. “Behind the gym at noon?” 

“Totally.” Billy smiled, his teeth showing and his eyes crinkling into little slits. 

Steve nodded and reciprocated with his own large smile, his heart light and fluffy. He turned the door handle and made his way out the of Billy’s room. He walked down the stairs quickly, waving a quick goodbye and thank you to Billy’s mom. She looked at him questioningly, but wished him the best of luck in his English project nonetheless. 

Steve walked to his car and started the ignition, sitting in the drivers seat for a few moments just going over everything that had happened. The moon was out already and he was just about to head back home after _cuddling_ with his _new boyfriend **Billy**_. He smiled to himself and moved his gear shift to leave the driveway but he saw Billy walk out of his front door.

Billy tapped on his driver’s side window, looking a little nervous. Steve rolled it down. “Keep your bedroom window open tonight, yea?” Billy asked, giving a smile that made Steve’s palms grow sweaty with how sincere it seemed. 

“Okay…” Steve whispered, and then smiled lightly. “I’ll keep it open. It’s the last window on the right, blue curtains.” 

“Okay.” Billy breathed out, repeating after Steve “Far right, blue curtains.” Steve nodded, and Billy stepped back, smiling wide and twiddling with the cross around his neck and looking slightly smug. Steve drove out of the driveway and down the road, his eyes on Billy’s figure the whole time as it grew smaller and smaller in his rear-view mirror. 

He made a turn onto one of the main streets of Hawkins, and scoffed when he realized what had just happened.

_I just agreed to spending the night with Hargrove…_

He liked the idea, but he also dreaded ever going to see Billy because now, by tonight, he was going to have Billy’s dick in some part of him, and that just felt _ weird_. The dude was just knocking the air out of him a few hours ago, and now he was just gonna let them fuck?

_ Yes._

Steve was never one for smart decisions, anyways. Hargrove was hot and Steve was looking for a good time, if it meant being with an emotionally unstable Billy, he could deal with the consequences in the morning. He liked the dude from the moment he laid eyes on him (he’s hot, what’s there not to like except for the insufferable attitude?), and today, once they actually spoke to each other, he was thinking it was a little more than just “like”. It had probably been more that 'like' for awhile now. Admitting that out loud, even if he was alone, was also going to take awhile. He slid out of his car and walked into the general grocery store, mentally screaming when he saw Joyce tending the register. 'At least the store's empty', he thought, and quickly bought some picked up some lubricant, ready to pay and dash out, when he trotted back for chocolate and pretzels.

Joyce gave him a questionable look. Steve groaned and threw his head back, not ready to have 'the talk' with the mom of one of (his) kids. Her voice raised in pitch and she tried to act normal. "I'm not saying anything, just be careful Steve." She bagged the items, and reached for a roll of condoms to toss in as a second though. She gave him a closed-lipped smile and handed the bag to him. "Thanks Joyce!" Steve awkwardly smiled back before snatching his stuff and stiffly walking out the door. He drove to his house and bolted from his car straight to his front door and up to his room. His mother was home, Steve could hear her showering, but he decided not to call her attention for now. If she wanted to see him she would go to him and yell a bit, as usual. 

Steve went immediately to his bedside drawer and stuffed the brown paper bag inside, as if holding it any longer would burn a hole through his hand. He sat on his bed with a huff, running a hand through his hair and trying his very best to keep his breathing level. 

_ I have a boyfriend and he wants to fuck tonight… there’s no way I’m going to be the one putting it in._

The nervous wasn’t entirely unwelcome. Steve was actually excited for what the night led to- it’s just the thoughts of having a dick up his ass that made him a little uneasy. Okay, it made him a lot uneasy. He hadn’t felt this jittery since the last time he was battling the demogorgons. He decided to shower out of nervous habit. When he finished, he stared at himself in the mirror, and grew a little more nervous upon seeing the bruise in his midsection and the slight swelling of his face, remembering who put the marks there. 

He tried everything to calm himself down, but ended up being unable to find comfort in anything in his room. His parents were long asleep by now, and their room was on the opposite side of the first floor. He went out to his pool and shimmied out of his clothes, leaving his underwear on. He just floated there, finding solace in the quiet that surrounded him and the lights glowing within the pool.

He was startled back to reality when he heard crunching footsteps come from the trees that surrounded the back of his house. His head shot up and subsequently chocked on the water that flooded into his mouth from the sudden movement. 

It was Billy, looking as handsome as ever, his hair looked damp and his skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. He didn’t notice Steve because he was too busy looking for his damn window. Steve mustered up some courage, realizing he had forgotten to mention his bedroom window was on the second floor. 

"Over here!” He whispered, and Billy’s body froze for a second before turning in the direction of the voice. He immediately relaxed when he noticed it was just Steve- in the pool with his hair slightly covering his face, _only wearing his boxers_. 

He jogged over to the pool edge and mustered up the best look of annoyance that he could- which was pretty difficult considering Steve was looking like literal beauty incarnate. 

“Going for a swim? In October? At midnight?” He chuckled at the scared expression that Steve had. He kneeled down so that he wasn’t completely looming over Steve.

“… yea, I guess.” Steve swam over to the ledge, closer to Billy. 

Billy, in a swift move, gave Steve a quick peak on the lips. It was light, soft, innocent- unlike their first kiss had been. Steve blushed as he pulled away, but was swift in his own actions and pushed up to kiss Billy again.

The kiss was longer, but it was still gentle. It had Billy smiling by the middle of it, and the butterflies in Steve’s stomach swooned. It was nice. When they pulled apart this time, Billy was the first to speak.

“What do you wanna do?” He whispered, his lips so close to Steve’s.

“I don’t know…” Steve whispered back, pushing himself up to kiss Billy again, this time not stopping until his entire torso was over the water. He placed his hands on the pavement, his palms next to each Billy’s knees. Billy grunted a little, as Steve had pushed him back a bit, but he kept their lips connected as he reached into the pool and grabbed Steve by the waist. Billy pulled him out of the water and onto his lap. Steve’s feet were still in the water, but, for the most part, he was laying over Billy’s lap, kissing him hard enough to leave bruises.

_ 'Sweet Jesus, he’s so strong…'_ Steves heart raced as he breathed in through his nose and licked across Billy’s bottom lip. Billy opened his mouth and soon their were in a full on make-out session there on the pavement.

Their lungs tingled and their hearts raced as their fervent tongues explored each others mouths. Steve shivered, cold from the air hitting his back, and Billy wrapped his arms around his waist tighter. It made Steve moan, as the intense kissing, the cold air, and the buff god beneath him were doing nothing to aid his growing erection. Steve placed his hands on Billy’s pecks and pushed him away, disconnecting their mouths. 

“Yeah?” Billy asked, a little out of breath and a lot light-headed. 

“Let’s go inside?” Steve was just as out of breath.

And then everything started to move too quickly. Billy hoisted Steve up by the backs of his thighs and carried him in the direction of his front door. Steve wrapped his legs around Billy and connected their lips once again. “You’re so strong…” he moaned against Billy’s lips. Billy smiled and squeezed Steves ass, moaning in response. 

He carried them up the front steps and opened the door silently. He placed Steve down on the carpet of the entrance of his home, gently separating their lips.

“Steve?” Steve heard his father call from his down the hall. 

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, and Billy’s hand shot out to his own. Billy squeezed Steve’s fingers in a sudden burst of anxiety. “Yeah dad, I went out for a swim!” He called back, and didn’t get a response. They stood still, Steve running his thumb over the back of Billy’s hand in attempt to comfort him, but his father didn’t make another noise. He kept a tight grip on Billy’s hand, and led them up the stairs to his bedroom. He would turn to Billy every few steps and make sure he didn’t look to uncomfortable, but, to Steves surprise, Billy looked happy. 

When they got to Steve’s bedroom door, Steve pulled Billy in and embraced him in another kiss. He rested his arms on Billy’s shoulders and loved the fact that he was just slightly taller than Billy. Billy hesitantly placed his hands on Steve’s hips and massaged the small amount of fat there. Steve flinched a little- as he wasn’t expecting Billy to be so gentle once they got inside, but relaxed soon and tugged on the hair on the back of Billy’s neck. He tugged on it lightly as he walked backwards towards his bed. Billy moaned and pulled Steves hips closer to his own. As soon as the backs of Steve’s knee’s came in contact with his bed, he fell back and they plopped down onto the mattress.Billy moved so that he was hovering over Steve and noticed the goosebumps covering his skin. 

“Cold?” Billy whispered, and Steve shuddered at his raspy voice. 

“A bit…” Steve responded, his voice sounded slightly dazed.

Steve pulled Billy’s body closer and hesitantly lifted his hips to meet Billy’s and thrusted up into his groin. Billy moaned and caught Steves lips again, grinding down harder onto Steve as he moved up. Steve moaned into his mouth and tugged on Billy’s stiff jeans with his hands. 

“Off…” 

Billy unbuckled his belt and pulled off his jeans with a harsh tongue, pushing his jeans over the edge of the bed and leaving them to fall in a messy heap on the floor. Billy shivered as his naked legs felt the cold skin of Steve’s feet. 

“You get these off, you’re freezing…” Billy grumbled and moved ahead in tugging off Steve’s wet boxers, getting them off of his legs with, again, gentle but fluid motions, throwing the cold dripping underwear in the same direction as he had thrown his jeans. 

Steve couldn’t even let himself get embarrassed as Billy wrapped a hand around his hard cock and began to gently tug on it. 

“Jesus, Bill’s!” Steve moaned lightly, and reached into the band of Billy’s boxers himself, grabbing his cock and jacking him off, too. Steve could tell from the tent in his boxers and the heaviness in his palm that Billy was bigger than him, a lot bigger. 

“You look so pretty like this Stevie…” Billy groaned and latched his lips onto Steve’s neck. He sucked on the skin and felt a surge of pride run through his veins when he felt Steve’s heartbeat speed up. Steve tilted his head back and gave Billy more room to suck on. Once Billy nipped on his skin, though, Steve’s breath hitched and he pulled Billy’s shirt over his head, making Billy laugh a little at how eager Steve was being. Billy gave the large, dark hicky that had formed on Steve’s jugular a light kiss before roaming down his chest, placing open-mouthed kisses on his way down. He froze when he reached the bruise on Steve’s stomach, and mumbled a sorry as he rubbed the skin there. Steve held his breath, wondering what Billy was going to do next. 

Billy kissed the bruise and then moved down again, eventually reaching Steve’s v-line and sucking on the slightly hairy skin. Steve’s breath hitched and he laced his fingers into the roots of Billy’s damp, dirty blond hair. 

“Bill’s…” Steve pleaded, and Billy bared his teethe and grazed them over the sensitive skin there, barley even putting any pressure down.

"Jesus Christ, Billy just get on with it!” Steve whispered desperately, and tightened his grip on Billy’s hair- tugging on the roots lightly. The muscles in his hips strained as he kept himself from thrusting into Billy’s face.

"I got you…” Billy murmured against the soft skin of Steve’s thighs, rubbing them up and down as he took Steve’s cock into his mouth in one swift motion. Steve gasped, a strained moan almost slipped from his lips, but he did his best to remain silent as he fisted at Billy’s hair, his toes curled into each other as he panted heavily. He threw his head back on the pillows and squirmed beneath Billy. Billy’s tongue circled his cock, he wiggled it as he kept it all in his mouth, sometimes breathing in deeply from his nose and swallowing around the cock. He was moving slow, languid and sensual, and Steve was loosing his mind. He craned his neck up and almost creamed at the sight of Billy, his ocean blue eyes were dilated, his face slightly red, and some spit was spilling from the colors of his red _ luscious_ lips. 

“I gonna- AH! Billy stop!” Steve gasped out, he locked his thighs and curled up into himself as Billy’s mouth popped off of his cock, which was now red and glazed with spit and pre-cum. Billy smirked down at him and moved up back to kiss his lips as Steve gripped his shoulders. 

“You okay there, Stevie?” He whispered, a knowing grin playing on his lips. 

“Y-yeah, I’m good…” Steve whispered back, and pushed up on Billy’s shoulders until they were both sitting up. Billy raised his eyebrows at him when Steve pushed him back down so that he was straddling Billy’s thighs. Billy was about to ask what Steve was doing when Steve hunched down and took his cock into his mouth. Steve was obviously not used to it, as he gagged a little and couldn’t go down to the base of Billy’s cock, but it was sorta… endearing.?. to Billy, in a ‘hot as fuck’ kinda way. Billy groaned and fisted the sheets beneath him, crinkling them up to the point of almost tearing them when he glanced down and saw Steve's strained face- his pretty lips stretched around his cock just as he had imagined countless times before. 

“Stevie, you don’t have to…” he groaned and tentatively ran a hand over Steve’s wet hair. Steve gulped around the top half of his cock but hummed in approval and threaded Billy’s fingers into his hair, aiding him in tugging lightly at the soft, long brunette hair. “Fuck…” Billy was dwindled down to groans as he rolled his hips deeper into Steves mouth. Steve mouth, to Billy’s surprise, contacted around his cock for a moment before loosening just the slightest and allowing Billy to go all the way in. Steve gagged, loudly, and even spited a little with his mouth still latched onto Billy's cock.

“Shit!” Billy cursed and pulled himself out of Steve’s wet, warm, mouth.

Steve coughed a little, his face was a bright red as he tried to stifle his coughing by placing a hand over his mouth.

“I’m so sorry!” Billy laughed, and sat up to move Steve’s hand away from his mouth. Steve smiled and waved his hand in front of his face, trying to say that he was okay but also slightly gasping for air. 

“No, I’m sorry!” Steve laughed and kissed Billy’s nose. “I should get better with time…” He concluded. 

Billy stiffened and hid his face in Steve’s neck at the affectionate gesture. Steve held Billy’s head there, and rubbed his hand up and down his back as Billy’s hands overlapped at the lower dip of Steve’s back. 

“I don’t hold any grudges, Billy.” Steve kissed the back of his head and nuzzled into the curly hair affectionately. He felt Billy shudder lightly in his hold before feeling the unmistakeable warm tears hitting the side of his face. “Hey, hey, hey, none of that…” Steve pulled away and took a good look at Billy’s face. His eyes were red his nose was already a little runny as the tears fell silently down his face. His lips quivered and his eyes squeezed shut as Steve placed his hand under Billy’s chin and kissed him on the lips. It was a quick kiss, but it was full of sincerity. 

“You were scared, confused… angry. You felt alone and unwanted… but I don’t hold that against you, Billy…” Steve’s voice was comforting and Billy began to sob in his embrace. “You are loved, Billy, and you don’t have to pretend anymore, not when you’re with me.” Steve concluded, brushing Billy’s damp curls behind his ear. “Okay?” 

Billy stared at him, just crying for a moment, before clearing his throat and roughly swiping the tears away. “Okay…” 

“Do you want to stop here?” Steve questioned, and Billy nodded. He looked so small and anxious, so Steve didn’t question it any further. 

Steve threw his sheets opened and laid them down slowly. Billy’s face was once again hidden in Steve’s neck as their head’s hit the pillows. 

“Let it out baby…” Steve smoothed over his hair and jus rubbed the scalp. Billy let out a few hiccups before crying once again, this time gasping for air. Steve tried to just let Billy have his moment, but the cries kept going well into the night. Steve rocked them back and forth, humming a Blondie song and occasionally steeling kisses on the side of Billy’s shoulder and the back of his head. Billy fell asleep around 4 AM and Steve sighed. He moved his torso back to look at Billy’s face. It was swollen and tired, but still beautiful. 

“You’ll be okay now, Billy.” He whispered, giving his lips one last kiss and pulling him closer. He wrapped the blankets tighter around them and let himself fall asleep too. He could deal with whatever life (or Billy) threw at him in the morning, because that’s just how Steve is.

He did remain hopeful, though. Tomorrow was Saturday, and they could spend the day working out everything that they want to happen. Steve’s always one for planning, and he’s gonna need a lot of it with Billy. 

(A/N: make this a two-shot and add an actual smut scene? I kinda wanna make another part... Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated!)


End file.
